Should You Take Away Your Teen’s Phone? One Parent’s Tough Decision

There’s a moment every modern parent faces—and that moment is here more often than we’d like to admit:
"Dad, can I get a phone? All my friends have one."
"Mom, I'm the only one in youth group without it."

If you’ve heard that—and felt caught between wanting to make them happy and wanting to protect them - we understand, it’s tough! But here’s what we’ve learned—it’s not really about what their friends have. It’s about whether they’re ready. Not just ready to use a phone, but ready to handle what comes with it: the responsibility, the distractions, and the potential dangers. Just because they want it doesn’t mean they’re prepared for it. Readiness isn’t about age or popularity—it’s about maturity.

We’re in a generation where screens disciple faster than Sunday school—and if we’re not careful, we’ll raise kids who know how to swipe, scroll, and post... but are starved for discernment, identity, and real connection.

And here’s the hard truth: the moment your child is face-to-face with a screen, they’re also face-to-face with a world that doesn’t love them the way you do. Behind that screen is everything from addictive games and toxic social media to explicit content and anonymous predators. And kids? They're curious. They're brave. They're easily influenced. They don't always know when to stop.

Photo by Sankalp Mudaliar on Unsplash

We’re not against phones. We’re not anti-tech. We believe we should raise digitally literate kids who can shine light online as much as offline.
But that kind of maturity doesn’t come just because a birthday rolled around. It comes from discipleship, not default.

So here are a few questions to ask before you give them that phone:

• Are they mature enough to handle what they might see?

• Are we talking to them about temptation, identity, and responsibility?

• Have we set clear digital boundaries in our home?

• Can they come to you when something goes wrong without fear of punishment?

• Am I modeling healthy phone use, or am I also addicted to the screen?

Let’s not raise kids who are tech-savvy but soul-starved. Let’s raise them to be wise, strong, and grounded in truth.

Love isn’t just about giving—it’s also about guiding.
And sometimes the most loving thing you can do… is say “not yet.”